Women often find themselves divorced at the same time they’re going through perimenopause and menopause. Why? Well, while there is never one reason for the breakup of a relationship, it is safe to say that the challenges of perimenopause and menopause can put a tremendous strain on a couple.
It’s so important for our loved ones (especially our spouses) to know when the perimenopause and menopause storm hits and what it’s all about. If the woman herself is overwhelmed, confused, and feeling isolated with her perimenopause and menopause experience, this alone can lead to incredible relationship strain. It doesn’t take long for communication to break down and silence and confusion to take over.
One of the biggest issues couples face during perimenopause and menopause is the loss of their sex life. This is exactly what happened to John and his wife.
John told me that his wife, who he called “the love of his life,” became uninterested in sex. He said, at a certain point, they became roommates instead of lovers. Their communication broke down, and they got divorced.
John had no idea that this was perimenopause and menopause related. He didn’t know that a drop in estrogen levels can cause a dry shmirshky, which can make sex hurt. He didn’t know that low testosterone results in a low libido.
He thought it was about him and that she didn’t love him anymore. He told me that he still loves his ex-wife deeply, and if they could have received help back then, it would have saved their marriage.
Don’t let this happen to you. Reach out for the help you deserve and face these challenges together, as a partnership; as a team. Remember that you both want the same end-result; you both want to be happy and to enjoy each other and your life together.
Like any healthy relationship, communication is the key, especially during perimenopause and menopause.
Oh, and guess what? It’s not just the women who deal with these issues first hand. There is such a thing, in fact, as male menopause. Google it!
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About “E”
“E” is the pen name of Ellen Sarver Dolgen, author of Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness—a cut-to-the-chase book on perimenopause and menopause that’s filled with crucial information, helpful guides, and hilarious and heartfelt stories. Known for her humor, compassion, and sassy personality, E has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts, including: the Rachael Ray Show, The Doctors, Oprah Radio, Playboy Radio, “Tell Me More” on NPR, Doctor Radio, and dozens of other regional and national media outlets. She appears monthly as a menopause and women’s wellness guest on KSWB Fox 5 Morning News San Diego and is a regular guest on the popular radio show, “Broadminded,” on Sirius XM Radio (Stars XM 107). E is also one of the first regular contributors to debut on the Huffington Post’s latest site, Huff/Post50. When E isn’t promoting women’s health and wellness, she’s busy trying her best not to eat all the ice cream in the freezer.
About Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness
The book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness, is your perimenopause and menopause (PM&M) toolkit. It condenses a confusing and daunting medical topic into an easy-to-understand, purse-sized guide that can be used as a reference throughout your PM&M experience. Reading Shmirshky is like getting a big, comforting hug from a dear friend who happens to know a lot about menopause!
Oh, and by the way, “shmirshky” (pronounced SHMERSH-KEY) is a playful name for vagina and the women who possess them. Visit Shmirshky.com for everything you wanted to know about perimenopause and menopause but were afraid to ask!